Sam, your mom has secretly been renting out your home
I used your shower sponge when you went to Spain alone
She told us it's been rough and you deserved a break
And marrying that guy obviously was a mistake
You had a couple kids, but now he's always gone
And you're stuck sweeping hair at your mommy's hair salon
The flat you have upstairs tucked in the suburbs safe
Is running low on bread and other amenities
'Cause your mom's been secretly renting your place
Al, your elevator looked in hella disrepair
But I'm not fuckin' with a dozen flights of stairs
I tenderized my legs somewhere in Germany
Tried to convince the bored to pay attention to me
The absinthe that we drank, I'm not sure it was real
Massage place in the building, we know what's the fuckin' deal
'Cause frat boys wait outside, pretending they're not there
Avert their glassy eyes, but I don't really care
I don't wanna lay in pain and stare at the ceiling
While chasing the fleeting
There's too much in my head to sleep
And I did the thing that movie said
"Foot on the floor beside the bed"
Still, too much in my head to sleep
Too much in my head to sleep
There's too much in my head to sleep tonight
Get fucked up, break your stupid bones again
Get fucked up, lose your telephone again
Get fucked up, bother all your friends again
Get fucked up, shame your broken heart again
I really gotta leave, but I just wanna stay
I'm only a real person for a quarter-dozen days
Until I gotta scram, until I go away
And turn into a person that I wouldn't wanna be
Cultivating mold on my laundry
And becoming so afraid, I'm honestly
Placing bets on a chemical crapshoot with my brain
Cleaning for the dealer so I'll black out on the plane
Mumbling in the dark and living vicariously
Through a photo album in a stranger's BNB
When you're a ghost, they'll sit around
And talk about how they liked you the most
When you're a dream, I'll wake up
To warm sun-rays that make me want to scream
I wanna let you know while you're alive
Because everybody loves you when you die
But when it matters, they're not there
Not there
When love is dead
We'll remember gentle nudges keeping us in bed
Or laughing at funerals, queasy at carnivals
Listening to heartbeats slowing down as we keep growing old
I wanna let you know while you're alive
Because everybody loves you when you die
But when it matters, they're not there
Not there
I gotta let you know while you're alive
Cause I'll be a disaster when you die
Chubby body, no hair, don't care
It's not like the love that they showed us on T.V
It's a home that can burn
It's a limb to freeze
It's worry
Love is worry
Yeah
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